Post 2nd Sem thoughts
Binasa ko ang makabagbag damdaming blog ni Euns hehe at now ko lang nalamang naghamon pala siya about scores sa final exams! hahahaha…tawang-tawa ako Euns! bakit mo naman kailangan sabihin yun? hehe…wala lang yun…super sabog talaga mga finals ko this sem…lalung lalu na ang Oblicon that’s why nung nakita ko sa school c Ma’am Maita kahapon, nagskip talaga ng beatSSSS ung heart ko…at cnabi nya pa talaga na madali ang exam!?! sigh…weird lang talaga ang sem na to..it seems i never gained back the passion i’ve had last sem…and it’s so sad
i’ve always wanted to be a lawyer, all right. but law school’s really a very different ball game from grade school, high school and college. I admit i was really lax this sem. I’ve lost the motivation to study for some reason. I usually rationalize it, sinasabi ko masyado ako napagod from last sem but I know that’s only half-true. I’ve been mediocre this sem. I rarely study. I sleep at 8pm and wake up at 8am then I study till 12nn…what the!?!? looking back, naiinis ako sa sarili ko…kasi di ko naman kailangan gawin yun…but no!!!! nagpabaya ako and I have to be accountable for that. nakakainis lang talaga because I know I could do better.
Tapos panahon pa ata ngayon ng madaming achievements from my schoolmates sa high school…Congrats to Joan for topping the bar…i know you’ll make it. I just wish i have the diligence and determination as you have. The problem with me is that i lose track of my goals. I know i want to be a lawyer but I don’t want to be just an ordinary lawyer. I want to be the best lawyer that I can be. This, I can only achieve if I give my heart out and consume my being in my study of the law. And to think I hate mediocrity. May pagka-ningas kugon kasi ako eh…sa simula ok then it’s a downhill from there…tpos pag patapos na, marerealize ko, what have I done? tpos mag-aaral just in time para makaabot sa honors. WEIRDO JENO!!!!
Hindi naman ako humihiling ng kahit ano eh…nahihiya lang talaga ako first, sa parents ko. ang mahal ng tuition for God’s sake. At di ko pinagbubuti….super di na nga ako halos nag-aral this past sem and naiinis ako’t gusto kong kalbuhin yung sarili ko dahil sa ginawa ko…but it’s over (well, technicaly di pa dahil c ma’am chu eh may paper pa na pinapagawa na di ko pa ginagawa). second, sa mga professors. the reason why i studied like crazy last sem was nahihiya ako sa mga professors. they’re arguably the best lawyers in the land, and feeling ko it’s only proper na maging worthy ako of being their student. Yun bang i need to show them na di sila nagkamali na i-devote ang time na magturo sa class dahil after all, we’re a very promising lot. third, nahihiya ako na matawag na ateneo law student tapos tatamad-tamad. ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! super naiinis talaga ako. kung pwede lang burahin ang 2nd sem ng 1st year!!!
Sinasabi ng mga tao, partida raw pag sinasabi kong di ako nakapag-aral…but it’s true…di naman ako machine..di naman masama ang loob ko. but nakakahiya rin kasi tulad nyan, sinasabi ng mga blockmates ko na i’m good (but never ko pa rin talaga magets ung idea na yan) pero i don’t study well…parang nakakahiyang di ako makalive up sa kung ano man ang meron to live up to. All i want is to give it back to my parents–i know na ang hirap magpaaral ng Law and talagang hirap na hirap na talaga sa mga finances. That’s why looking back, im up to the point na talagang pinagdarasal ko na lang na this past sem was not that bad after all–but i’ll always be regretting the fact that I know I did not do what I really have to do..that is, to study hard.
Sabi ko pa naman i’ll do my best. But it’s too late to rectify what’s there is to 2nd sem…meron pa kong 6 sems (hopefully) na natitira…di na talaga mauulit ang sem na ito…ang pangit ng feeling na alam mong you could have done something pero nagpabaya ka…hay. But i’m always hopeful that things will be alright. i really believe prayers can help a lot. Kasi lawschool’s not really about intellectual fitness eh….the emotional part is really draining. Lawschool asks everything from you and much much much more. I am looking forward to a very fruitful 2nd year….sana di ko na malimutang maraming tao ang talagang umaasa sa akin–magpapaaral pa ko ng kapatid, yung parents ko kailangan kong tulungan, na i want to have a good career…etc…madami talaga…I leave it up to God. I know he has plans for me….kaya ako nandito at kaya nangyayari ang lahat ng bagay na ito sa akin.
"Believe…for even the scarcest of resources has the makings of a miracle."
- St. Clare of Assissi
